December 2007

This edition brings us to the heart of the holiday season, whichever holiday one celebrates this time of year. For me, the holiday spirit has become one of both adventure and reflection:

Holiday Adventure: Xmas in Sarajevo

Given a few mandatory days out of the office at the cusp of 2008 and the realisation that for all of my efforts to reposition myself in Europe this year, the most exotic places I've been to are Luxembourg and the Maghrebi neighborhood around the Midi train station in Brussels. And, in view of the fact that airfares are downright extortionate this time of year (particularly to anyplace warm), the EUR 250 price of a five day second-class Interrail Pass seemed enough of a bargain to pair it with a couple of one-way plane tickets to make a doable ten-day excursion...to the heart of Former Yugoslavia.

So, here's the current itinerary for my Balkan bash:

21-Dec: Overnight train from Munich, sharing a sleeper car with someone I haven't met yet; will keep sacred documents in secret happy place

22-Dec: Departing train in world's most hard-to-spell capital city: Ljubljana (sorry Ouagadougou and Antananarivo), then buggering off by bus to Lake Bled. After Bariloche, I've developed a weakness for Alpine lakes. Will the weakness hold in Alpine weather?

23-Dec: Wake up in an Austrian hotel in Zagreb, Croatia. Will try to find non-pork items on local menus while exploring this one-time Hapsburg outpost.

24-Dec: Day train from Zagreb to Sarajevo. Said to be one of the least pleasant/most authentic international rail journeys left in Europe today. Staying at extremely well-reviewed guest house in Sarajevo through the 27th while I visit various landmarks and meet with locals arranged by an IABC member there.

27-Dec: Taxi to the Serb part of Sarajevo for bus journey through Republika Srpska to Belgrade. Belgrade scares me a bit--end-of-the-world night life, active grievances against the rest of the world, cyrillic street signs, and pljeskavica (pork 'n' onion 'burgers'). But what is the purpose of travel if not to confront such fears???

29-Dec: Night train to Vienna. Intentionally overshooting Budapest to give myself a better night of sleep, also to visit one of my known ancestral homes (the Hungarian one, Kisvarda, being a much-less-convenient train ride towards the Ukrainian border). After a few hours in Vienna, head back towards Budapest for New Year's, perhaps watching fireworks over the Danube.

If anyone knows anyone in, near or around these places while I'll be there--or otherwise knows the lay of the land, please let me know as well.

LIPSYNCHING TO THE MP3

Most people have been known to sing in the shower, or perhaps along with the radio while driving in the car. But one frontier most have restrained themselves from crossing is that of lypsynching to one's iPod or MP3. Player.

Admit that you've thought about doing it. Then listen to the background conversations. "People will think I'm crazy!". "People will think I'm talking to myself!" "What if I bump into someone I know?"

As I live in a place where I know very few people, extremely few of whom I encounter in the course of my role as a local pedestrian, I'll admit to doing some headphoned lipsynching in recent weeks. I don't do it while directly encountering other pedestrians, but then I let it all hang out while no one's looking (or at least, so I think). Having admitted to some experience, and having even raised the idea at a social meeting with some colleagues (even though one, a particularly formidable client, shot me the dirtiest of looks), allow me to publish some guidelines for "Lipsynching to the iPod".

1. Lipsynch only to music you know the words to. This is no time to look like an amateur.

2. Enunciate. If someone does catch you, you should give them the courtesy of at least being able to lip read what you are synching.

3. Don't look someone in the eye if you notice them while you are synching. They may think you are actually starting to converse.

4. If some one asks you what you are doing, always respond "I'm lipsynching to my iPod, care to join me?"

5. At random moments at work and with friends, raise the question: "Have you ever lipsynched to your iPod?" If any one replies by saying "Have you?", always answer in the affirmative.

With these tips, you will be taking the new media revolution one step further, and expand the freedom available to your fellow iPod lipsynchers in the process. And more freedom can only be a good thing, can't it?

COAL FOR CHRISTMAS

As someone who doesn't actually celebrate Christmas, I tend not to make massive gift purchases. But there are some worthy recipients out there of the one gift I love to give: COAL.

Here are some people whose carbon footprint has just gotten a little bigger:

Daniel Levy, Owner, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club

Sure, new manager hire Juande Ramos finally seems to have the club on track after a dismal season start. But Danny, that's still no excuse for having breakfast with coaching candidates when you had a coach in Martin Jol who'd only delivered successive years of success well beyond what was delivered by previous incumbents. Of course, I knew you were a jerk when you walked out of a meeting with me in 2001 half way after fifteen minutes. A good kilo of the black stuff for you, baybee.

Hillary Clinton, Imploding US Presidential Front Runner

Ms. "I rooted for the Cubs but secretly was a Yankees fan when I was a kid" Clinton, the only thing inevitable about your presidential candidacy is the collapse that's been unfolding in recent weeks. Americans don't like to be told by a candidate that she is "entitled" to be president. We're the ones who are "entitled" to make that call. And when such a candidate disses the Chicago Cubs, outrage is the only acceptable response. Two lumps of 500 g each, one for each of your pockets as you sink.

The Nature Conservancy's 'Conservation' Efforts in Hawaii

The Nature Conservancy paints itself as one of the "good guys" in the environmental movement, buying the land it seeks to conserve. But what it does on that land is often not very nice. Take the treatment of the pigs who have made themselves a little paradise in Hawaii. Pigs, though not a native species, have lived in Hawaii for hundreds of years, and are very much a part of the local scene, culture and environment. But by invoking the "non-native" tag, the Nature Conservancy has authorised the eradication of the pigs on its territory by professional hunters. That may be fine for your "eco-system", but pigs are intelligent, sentient and resourceful creatures fully undeserving of this fate. So, many kilos of coal for you. And extra kilos for your "professional hunters".

Low Cost Airlines Charging for Checked Baggage

I am a big fan of low cost airlines. But recently, in their efforts to keep fares down and profits robust, they've instituted often-staggering charges for checked baggage and for baggage in excess of downright austre baggage limitations. While intra-European travellers can pack and choose accordingly, Americans and others moving around Europe for long journeys often face confrontations at check-in where baggage fees could cost over $100, or where travellers would have to jettison some of their gear. I encountered such a situation in May, and had to chuck and reposition some of my stuff. The irony--among the jettisoned items were the American candies I'd brought over for the Internal Comms manager for the airline I was flying. A kilo of coal for each airline that does this...and some extra Jolly Ranchers for my old buddy are on their way to you.

Until January, that's FlightKL18!